What would you do? Ex hasn't paid support in 5-6 years and is $30K in arrears. He isn't in enforcement as we went the direct pay route, that lasted 2-3 years until his payments became sporadic and then non-existent. The thing is, he really lays on the pity party with our kid. You know, makes me out to be the bad guy like I have a lot of nerve to expect him to help support his kid. It's hard enough to deal with a teen without the ex cry babying to the kid with the woe is me routine. I get that he doesn't have the cash and that he hasn't held a steady job for several years now, BUT - he hasn't paid when he did work and he doesn't seem to be putting much effort into keeping the good job he did have or finding a new one. What do you think? Write him off or put him in enforcement?

I would contact a lawyer or the court and have a stipulation put into the custody agreement that neither parent is allowes to bad mouth the other and the next time it does, he's in contempt. Report his ass.

Have a talk with God today. He will provide the answers that you seek all you have to do is be willing to listen.

My thoughts I'd probably let the arrears go, what's past is past and you let it get that way. I'd also go the enforcement route for any and all future payments.

How often does he see the child? I admire your patience. As a Dad with 30% time I need the same living arraingements as the mom, which comes with the same bills. only difference is, I am supposed to pay her $625 a month for one child. She ed my employer, accusing me of drugs and assault and I lost my job. The courts didn't do shit about it, all lies. They didn't reduce cs either. So now I am heading to jail for the second time. I wish she was like you, can you have him buy the kid clothes and personal items instead of paying cash?

Perhaps your employer didn't like you to begin with. Most employers would want to see proof and send you for a drug test prior to firing you. I hope you at least got unemployment, beings your employer had no proof.

Well, it was the second time she did it, they just got tired of the drama. The first time they gave the courts good recommendations for me and helped me when I had no place to sleep. I proved my innocence at a very high cost and they knew she was lying to begin with. You would think the courts would have charged her with harassment or slander.

That sucks! But you could have charged her with that. It's not up to the courts to start a harassment suit.

You can't sue your wife. I tried

he sees the kid when it suits him he's a low life, lets the kid pay for their entertainment since he's always telling the kid that he never has any money. He never pays for anything for this kid. He doesn't even maintain a home, he mooches off his sister. Why should he get serious about finding a job? No one is chasing him for child support and he gets by mooching off his family, collecting unemployment and, when he feels like it, working off the books jobs.

I don't think after everything you wrote that you will ever see 30k from him so I would let it go. You have a teen so start counting down the years until he's 18 and you don't have to even think about the ex. Save yourself the headache and write him off.

You do have some sense in you. Re: your Dad Your dad may be pissed at your ex, my ex FIL reported me as a drug user, abuser, etc. He was all wrong but my then wife believed him. No, you shouldn't get back with your ex, but don't believe your Dad until he can prove it. Keep your parents and friends 100% seperate from your husband. Tell them you have everything under control, my mom thought she lost her $8000 ring, but found it 3 weeks later.

Do the Dept of Revenue enforcement thing. He may be lying to you about his employment situation. The DOR has his social security number and can put a lien on his earnings that are above the table. You could be in for a pleasant surprise. The worse case scenario is that he is $x,x+ in arrears, if you have it on record with enforcement then say he hits the lottery, gets an inheritance, etc. guess who gets paid xst. It is easy to do and you have nothing to lose..........

they can't take from inheritance lottery yes, but I would find a family member to cash in the monies

re-file the proper way just re-file everything thru child support and let he face it with child surpport instead of you.

truth is I can't deal with the fallout If I put him in enforcement he will start complaining to the kid. I don't know if I can deal with it. If enforcement puts him in jail my kid will never let me forget that I put daddy in jail. I'm sure he isn't working a legit job. He's NEVER held on to a job very long.